Terry and Kathy Ruby: Poster children for the moral decay of the Soka Gakkai and its members
"At this point Chris I believe Marc's version of events, not Terry's. I did a search of old April posts and found one where Kathy Ruby referred to her death as a suicide. I've had a few email exchanges on this with Terry Ruby over the weekend and at this point it looks like he's shut down the conversation with me. I asked him point blank if she committed suicide and if he was involved romantically with her. I asked him if the rumors are true that he fathered her child. He refused to answer and in fact, based on what he wrote to me he thinks I am someone else. He's confused. Maybe he's suffering some breakdown.
Either way, he is scary."
op wrote: > <rainerg...@yahoo.com> wrote in message > news:firstname.lastname@example.org... > > > > op wrote: > >> "Chris" <chris...@yahoo.com> wrote in message > >> news:email@example.com... > >> > marcinmd wrote: > >> >> Ivan wrote: > >> >> > Cody wrote: > >> >> > > According to Terry Ruby, April did not commit suicide but died of > >> >> > > a > >> >> > > heart attack. > >> >> > > > >> >> > > See: > >> >> > > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SokaGakkaiInternational/message/66742 > >> >> > > > >> >> > > Cody > >> >> > > >> >> > So, how did she die? And who is she? Enquiring minds want to know! > >> >> Wow..Terry never would tell anyone that..She took pills and killed > >> >> herself..Shame on you. > >> > > >> > Marc, he accused me of seeking to defame him for referring to her > >> > suicide in a reply to one of his re-posts of your "April Storm" story. > >> > Since my knowledge is all second hand about this all I could do was to > >> > point to sources and reply that I defamed nobody but was simply > >> > reporting an old story that nobody had denied before. > >> > > >> Chris, I think I remember the posts as being (although I don't have the > >> exact words in front of me) as being about "abandonment." which was what > >> the "defame" part was apparently all about. It seemed that Bill thought > >> you > >> had "accidently" done it, and that Terry thought you had done it on > >> purpose. > >> Either way, I read it that you were making a statement that was your > >> opinion, but not necessarily defamatory, based on the previous arbn posts > >> on > >> the subject that you had read, portions of which you posted on the SGI > >> board. > >> > >> > >> > In his post he claims she was loved and cherished to the end. > >> > >> She may have been, Chris, by many people. Maybe even Terry. > >> > >> Somehow > >> > she didn't commit suicide -- her heart just "stopped." Frankly, at > >> > this point Terry scares me. > >> > >> I am not sure why Terry is at this time presenting the "I don't know if > >> she > >> committed suicide or not..the official verdict was a heart attack.." > >> version. It may be as Marc says that he wishes to present her memory in > >> what *he* considers to be a positive light. Maybe Terry is a person who > >> considers suicide to be in the category of an undesirable way to die - > >> since > >> we have been on that topic here. I am not sure why Terry is scary to you > >> and Bridget. Would you mind explaining that to me? Is he scarier than > >> other religious fanatics? > >> Marc, on the other hand, blames the SGI and NSTfor April's death, and has > >> for years, though I can't remember why anymore. It seems to me that he > >> has > >> never tied that to her suicide. He recently mentioned that the Maryland > >> priest at the time of the split conducted a memorial service for her and > >> that many Gakkai members (but not leaders) attended. So, how SGI and NST > >> let April down in Marc's eyes remains a mystery to me. op > > > > Hi Op, > > > > It is Terry's fundimentalist attitude that i find frightening. > > Sometimes it seems he is losing his grip. Like if you disagree with > > him he comes unglued and starts attacking you personally. Like the > > emails he sent me. He acted like I was a horrid person for even > > questioning him yet he is the one who started it by posting about a > > private person who died many years ago and nobody was even discussing > > her. I still think he should not have even begun his April Storm > > installments and if he felt some overpowering need to do so he should > > not have used her real name. It's just wrong. I feel like he's using > > her once again to satisfy some need inside himself. > > > > At this point I really believe that terry did have an affair with her, > > and maybe he did father her child. On that I don't know but based on > > his emails to me I can come to no other conclussion to explain how > > completly unglued he came at my questions. > > > > It's the way he posturizes his position. I can imagine what he must > > have been like in prison. All tough and stuck in his place of what is > > right. It's just frightening to me when people, men especially act > > like that. I can see them getting violent when things just aren't > > going the way they think they should go. A real control freak. > > > > The real sad thing is April. Whatever the reasons, whether she really > > was alone or not, she felt alone. That's what is so sad to me. That > > she killed herself because she saw no other way out of her pain. It > > just makes me very sad for her. > > > > Bridget > >> > >> > > > Bridget, the only thing that I can see Terry doing is getting really > frustrated with Will's board, and lobbying SGI Central to issue some kind of > a memo with regard to the members who post there, something like he and > Kathy did with the IRG board. You know, trying to demonize the board and > the members who post there. Not that he and Kathy were the only ones who > did that with the IRG, but I can see that kind of action coming from someone > with Terry's frame of reference. > As for April, it IS sad. Suicide's are always sad. My best friend's > husband committed suicide. He suffered from bouts of depression all of his > life, and took his life at the age of 29. It was horrible, and traumatic > for his wife and child. Many people loved him, but could not stop him from > his deep despair that led him to that act. This to me is another reason why > I think that we have to look at how someone has lived, not how they have > died. He was a wonderful man overall. > op
Yes OP exactly. Terry is demonizing Will's group. Trying to get SGI to take some official stand against the group and the members who post there. He is pushy and controlling and a liar and he will use those traits to get his way. Like the bully on the playground. His wife is NO better. Both liars. I can't stand lying people.
If the SGI did take an official position against Will's group or it's members that would definetly seal it for me.
I'v had several people close to me kill themselves. It is hell for those of us left behind. We are the one's left trying to sort it all out and pick up the pieces of our shattered lives.
I too have suffered depression all of my life and I understand all too well the despair that can lead to someone killing themselves. That is why I can relate to April and feel so badly for her. Nobody should feel so utterly alone and in so much pain that they have to kill themselves to get out of it. That's why I feel so sad for her. I feel, based on what I have read that April was taken advantage of by some in leadership position. I feel it is wrong and I feel the SGI has culpability for April's death because they put her into a position of crossing paths with the leaders who did take advantage of a emotionally fragile young woman.
Terry's posting of April's Storm, 14 years after her death and changing the cause of death just shows that he hasn't taken any responsibility for anything he did that may have played any part in her death. If he's really changed and learned anything his story would reflect that and he would be educating people on their responsibilities as leaders to "do no harm" to their members. He would take full responsiblity for his part and own up to it like a man. He's just trying to change the history to alleviate his own guilt or glorify himself. Not sure which. Either way, I have about as much respect for him as I do a child molester.