Nichiren: The Gohonzon is the very life and land of the Master of Teachings Lord Shakya of the Juryo Chapter of the Lotus Sutra. It is more valuable than my own life.
Nikken: That is why we printed them up like Grateful Dead posters.
Ikeda: And why we sold hundreds of thousands of them to every Tom, Dick and Harry with $12.00 in their pocket.
Nichiren believer: We have always been very careful about who we allow to receive Gohonzon and we will continue to prudent
Nichiren: I wouldn't even bestow a Gohonzon on Usabusa and she was chanting for 14 years and never missed Gongyo.
Nikken: We were sure that those who had $12.00 in their pockets had deep faith. Oh well, live and learn.
Ikeda: That was then and this is now. Now they must also buy a years subscription to the World Fibune and Living Ikedaism.
Nichiren believer: There are believers who are chanting for thirty years in America who wish to obtain a Nichiren Gohonzon but we are loathe to give them one because of their warped faith.
Nichiren: I have inscribed my life in sumi ink.
Nikken: We thought you'd enjoy the smell of the San Francisco dump, the flames of the mid-Manhattan incinerator, and the warm and cozy socks [in sock drawers].
Ikeda: You are being overly dramatic, Nichie. Your life in sumi ink? LOL. Those who sing Forever Sensei and have my picture beside the altar are the true votaries. I myself am the banner of propagation in the Latter Day.
Nichiren believer: Since the Gohonzon is so important to you Master, how could we indiscriminately bestow them upon others?
Nichiren: I have inscribed this Gohonzon for you. It will protect you like a sturdy house in a storm, like a bodyguard skilled in martial arts, or like a mother lion protects her cubs. To abandon this Gohonzon is the cause of the greatest misfortune in this life and the road to hell in the next.
Nikken: We have Craig Bratcher, Nichiu, and the priest Goto.
Ikeda: We have Guy McCloskey, Terry, and Kathy Ruby.
Nichiren believer: Master, we will teach each and every person that the Gohonzon is more valuable than life itself and if our believers were to abandon the Gohonzon we would refrain from teaching the Lotus Sutra.
Nichiren: It appears that the DaiGohonzon breeds evil men.
Nichiren believer: We have been teaching this for many years. Thank you for reaffirming our understanding.
Nikken: Impossible, look at me, priest Goto, and Nichiu the leper.
Ikeda: Haha. how can a plank of wood breed evil men?