I was doing some "teeth of the castle" [Gajokai] or Sokahan [whatever the hell that really means] activity in Trets, the SGI brainwash center in France. It was like two in the morning. Some big muckety muck pulls me aside and escorts me outside to a wooded area. It was absolutely dark. In between a grove of trees, about fifty yards from the building, he leads me to brass plaque on a concrete base on which is etched a dedication to President Toda. He tells me to guard the plaque with my very life. Hell, its two in the morning and the stupid plaque is in the middle of an out of the way tree stand bolted to a concrete slab that even a tsunami couldn't dislodge. Immediately, I said "HAI, I'll guard it with my life!" [as if anyone would wander into this grove of trees at 2:00 AM]. I stood there in the pitch black guarding this gdmn plaque like an as--ole for three hours [that's what I feel now but then, I felt like a true disciple of Sensei, a Bodhisattva of the Earth]. Its not as if I were an infantry man guarding a vital supply route, a samurai believer guarding Nichiren Daishonin, or even a security person assigned to guard the members money and valuables. A stupid plague. A stupid person guarding a stupid plague. I feel ashamed for thinking that this was Buddhism. It was power and control. Wanting to fit in, wanting to become a true disciple of Sensei so bad, I would have jumped into a fire if they told me to. And they knew it.