Hi Mitchell,
I hope I can help you based on my experience as an Asian former SGI member and leader. I will start off with a bit of my background.
I was a 2nd Generation SGI member and district leader. I was born into the practice and people from SGI should know as a "fortune baby". My mum and most of my aunties are with SGI until now. I was also a very passionate SGI YMD leader during my school days. Maybe during the school days, the SGI student division was a more naive and innocent sort of faith that really ignited passion for Buddhism or maybe because I felt that I was part of a group that promotes world peace and great ideas and I have wonderful friends and memories during that time.
However I started to waver in my faith in SGI when I graduated from my studies and was out in the corporate world. This may be, in part, due to the crazy time I spent on activities as a District Leader and also my duties to guard the SGI centers. On top of that, there are politics at play in SGI meetings especially if you are a leader. I used to feel very frustrated when many people and leaders advanced who didn't even bother to participate in those activities and sometimes I did the activity alone by myself. However I still feel that it was my responsibility not only as a leader but as a normal human being that I am supposed to keep my word and be responsible when I make a promise to do my Buddhist activity.
However I started to waver in my faith in SGI when I graduated from my studies and was out in the corporate world. This may be, in part, due to the crazy time I spent on activities as a District Leader and also my duties to guard the SGI centers. On top of that, there are politics at play in SGI meetings especially if you are a leader. I used to feel very frustrated when many people and leaders advanced who didn't even bother to participate in those activities and sometimes I did the activity alone by myself. However I still feel that it was my responsibility not only as a leader but as a normal human being that I am supposed to keep my word and be responsible when I make a promise to do my Buddhist activity.
During sometime in the early 2000s, I suffered from some serious back injuries but I still continue to do my duties to guard the SGI centers until I really felt that I couldn't walk much longer or contribute much longer. I decided to quit from doing my guard duties at SGI centers. As usual, a lot of leaders and members came and ask me why I decided not to contribute and to make the work load less. Of course I decline politely. I was most pissed off when a senior leader comment that I should do more duties due to my back injuries and I can recover faster as a benefit with the fortune that I created from serving SGI. On top of that, some of my close SGI member friends also started to voice their displeasure when I can't attend some of the meetings and gatherings due to my frequent severe back pains. People might complain about the suffering from a serious back injury but I am actually feeling happy because I finally see the true color of SGI members and leaders. As a matter of fact, it allows me to realize that even if u are a leader in SGI, it doesn't make you or anyone better than someone who is not in SGI. It is a flawed concept that SGI has been promoting and that they are trying to bolster that image especially with more celebrities taking up the practice. The most important thing lies in the heart. Of course Buddhism does helps you to build up the character and heart especially with chanting and belief in the Lotus Sutra.
For these few months lately, as I was not working and taking a break. I managed to dig up a lot of information on SGI/NST Gosho forgeries as well as the fabrication of lies and the fake inscription of the Dai-Gohonzon. I have decided to quit SGI because it is not in accordance with what Nichiren Daishonin preached and I refuse to spread his Buddhism with regards to the various flawed SGI concepts. I will try and spread Buddhism in a more subtle way as I am Asian and we do have different values and cultures from westerners. Furthermore, I may be facing a bigger challenge than you since I will be facing my mum and aunties. I would like you to take hope from me that I have actually managed to cause my mum's faith in SGI to waver even though she has been practicing with SGI for more than 30 years. I have shown her all the information that I have dug up about SGI/NST and she has managed to react to it in a favorable way. She has even asked me for more information and I try to spread some words about SGI misdeeds to her sisters as well. I will advise you to read up more on SGI/NST as well as the history of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. You can find lots of information on the net and I believe it is more than enough to refute most of the lies and forgeries that are fabricated by SGI/NST. I will also suggest that you sincerely try to chant or go to a meeting with her to find out more her practice. Chanting is not a bad thing actually as you can read from most of the people here who do chant.
Also as an Asian, I will share some insights on our culture with you. We place a lot of importance on filial piety especially towards parents compared to western culture. That is even more so for Asian women who will definitely share most of their problems and issues with their mum and sisters. Don't be disheartened or discouraged because they place a lot of importance on their own family and husband. Do try to show her more care and support and also show more understanding to her mum and sister. This will help to smooth out a lot on both your marriage and relationship. Just calm down and entertain her mum or sister if possible. If not, just ignore them in a gentle way.
Anyway Kalen is a nice name for a daughter since it signify Lotus Flower. Do not be angry or frustrated with the name although you may think that it sounds or signify with Namu myoho renge kyo. The chanting is not specifically for SGI/NST. It is the daimoku that is revealed by Nichiren Daishonin and practiced by all Nichiren Buddhism disciples.
Touching on giving SGI money, I will advise you to leave the decision to her. Don't force or push her to give it up. Give her information on all the financial irregularities and issues that SGI have been doing in Japan and the rest of the world. Guide her along and show her based on unbiased information and reports from neutral parties. Slowly or one day she will realize the truth. I and my mum used to contribute a lot and give money to SGI too. I would say SGI has cleverly mislead or misguided their members to give "zaimu" using parables from Buddhist sutras as well as selling the idea to members that the more you contribute, the more fortune and benefits you get. Your wife might be thinking the more she contributes, she is bringing more fortune and benefits to your family - you and your daughter as well. Another way is to find a good and honest alternative charitable organization that really helps the needy and advise her to donate to that organization. It is better than donating to SGI because you are really contributing to a good cause and helping the people. That is creating good cause and good karma.
Lastly, I will encourage you to really try to support and help your wife get out of SGI no matter how long it takes. Do it in a subtle, logical, rational and calm way. If you need something to calm you down or give you the extra belief or support or strength, I will suggest that you chant Namu myoho renge kyo. It will give you the wisdom as well as the courage on how to go about doing it. At the end of the day, your family - wife and daughter are the most important people in your life and you wouldn't want to lose them.
For these few months lately, as I was not working and taking a break. I managed to dig up a lot of information on SGI/NST Gosho forgeries as well as the fabrication of lies and the fake inscription of the Dai-Gohonzon. I have decided to quit SGI because it is not in accordance with what Nichiren Daishonin preached and I refuse to spread his Buddhism with regards to the various flawed SGI concepts. I will try and spread Buddhism in a more subtle way as I am Asian and we do have different values and cultures from westerners. Furthermore, I may be facing a bigger challenge than you since I will be facing my mum and aunties. I would like you to take hope from me that I have actually managed to cause my mum's faith in SGI to waver even though she has been practicing with SGI for more than 30 years. I have shown her all the information that I have dug up about SGI/NST and she has managed to react to it in a favorable way. She has even asked me for more information and I try to spread some words about SGI misdeeds to her sisters as well. I will advise you to read up more on SGI/NST as well as the history of Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. You can find lots of information on the net and I believe it is more than enough to refute most of the lies and forgeries that are fabricated by SGI/NST. I will also suggest that you sincerely try to chant or go to a meeting with her to find out more her practice. Chanting is not a bad thing actually as you can read from most of the people here who do chant.
Also as an Asian, I will share some insights on our culture with you. We place a lot of importance on filial piety especially towards parents compared to western culture. That is even more so for Asian women who will definitely share most of their problems and issues with their mum and sisters. Don't be disheartened or discouraged because they place a lot of importance on their own family and husband. Do try to show her more care and support and also show more understanding to her mum and sister. This will help to smooth out a lot on both your marriage and relationship. Just calm down and entertain her mum or sister if possible. If not, just ignore them in a gentle way.
Anyway Kalen is a nice name for a daughter since it signify Lotus Flower. Do not be angry or frustrated with the name although you may think that it sounds or signify with Namu myoho renge kyo. The chanting is not specifically for SGI/NST. It is the daimoku that is revealed by Nichiren Daishonin and practiced by all Nichiren Buddhism disciples.
Touching on giving SGI money, I will advise you to leave the decision to her. Don't force or push her to give it up. Give her information on all the financial irregularities and issues that SGI have been doing in Japan and the rest of the world. Guide her along and show her based on unbiased information and reports from neutral parties. Slowly or one day she will realize the truth. I and my mum used to contribute a lot and give money to SGI too. I would say SGI has cleverly mislead or misguided their members to give "zaimu" using parables from Buddhist sutras as well as selling the idea to members that the more you contribute, the more fortune and benefits you get. Your wife might be thinking the more she contributes, she is bringing more fortune and benefits to your family - you and your daughter as well. Another way is to find a good and honest alternative charitable organization that really helps the needy and advise her to donate to that organization. It is better than donating to SGI because you are really contributing to a good cause and helping the people. That is creating good cause and good karma.
Lastly, I will encourage you to really try to support and help your wife get out of SGI no matter how long it takes. Do it in a subtle, logical, rational and calm way. If you need something to calm you down or give you the extra belief or support or strength, I will suggest that you chant Namu myoho renge kyo. It will give you the wisdom as well as the courage on how to go about doing it. At the end of the day, your family - wife and daughter are the most important people in your life and you wouldn't want to lose them.
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