"I started in a sort of rural area too. They called us an ‘outlying area.’ Our activities were self motivated and at a natural pace for where lived. We started growing; which attracted the attention of the nearest urban activity center. We started getting a lot advice and encouragement to step up the pace; among other things. In the minds of some ‘senior’ leaders, we were not getting the right kind of benefits. There was always a lot of talk about leading incredible or amazing lives and showing lots of what they saw as actual proof. Some of the leaders were very aggressive, too ‘pushy.’ They were also authorities on everything Buddhist and legends in their own minds. I got sick of hearing 'that is not Buddhism’ or 'True Buddhism is about …’ Also, the goals they set for ‘shakubuku’ were grossly unrealistic. I tried to be a good follower and finally just got burnt out on it. There was way too much high drama." -- Robin"