I am still a member. A "leader", in fact. I do enjoy reading Nichiren's writings and the Lotus Sutra. I even love chanting. I love my friends in the org and the older members (I am a ywd). One of my best friend's introduced me.
I am and always have been a good, kind person. I am a hard worker. I believe these things are what allowed me to rise to a "leader" position quickly. I do enjoy being able to support and inspire other people. However, I can't continue sitting in meetings where fellow leaders are praising "my mentor". I can't listen to young men having a hard time in inner city life being told to "just keep chanting".
For a year now, despite my growing doubts, I have been convinced to go to more meetings, give rides to members, do home visits to members that make me feel unsafe, listen to calls that are announced day in advance... it is too much.
I'm sorry this post is rambling. I honestly have never posted on Reddit before but felt a need to participate in this Subreddit. Do any of you feel your situation was similar to mine? Basically, that you loved your fellow members, actually enjoyed (most) of the activities... but couldn't ignore the Ikeda worship or the fact that so much valuable personal time was being wasted for no real "world peace"?
Also, when you were considering leaving SGI, did any of you visit a temple meeting? Or a different kind of Buddhism?