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Thursday, June 15, 2017

Like Simple Simon says?

SGI leader: No. HAI
SGI member: How high?
SGI leader: Can you give an experience at the next Area meeting?:
SGI member: Ok. How about the time I went to Atlantic City and lost all my money. I had to beg the toll man to let me through the Lincoln tunnel. I chanted to myself and he let me go through. Then I went home and ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and spaghetti, ketchup, and canned peas for two weeks. 
SGI leader: Did you learn anything from the experience?
SGI member: Yes, to always leave toll money in the car and stock up on food before I go to Atlantic city. I also thought about what Sensei would do in my situation.
SGI leader: You did?
SGI member: He would call his chauffer to bring him another bag of Zaimu.
SGI leader: You certainly have done a lot of human revolution.
SGI member: Like Zapata?
SGI leader: No. Like Sennichi Yamamoto.
SGI member: Who dat?
SGI leader: That is Sensei's fictionalized name in his book, The Human Revolution.
SGI member: Oh yeah, I forgot. We read about him last year, the year before that, the year before that, and the year before that. There were no battles or anything except with that old priest Ogasawara. Sennichi roughed him up pretty good.
SGI leader: Of course there are no battles except with the Dantos, the Kempon Hokke, and the Nichiren Shu. This is a battle with yourself, a battle to follow Sensei no matter what, like he followed his mentor, President Toda.
SGI member: Like Simon Bolivar says?
SGI leader: More like Simple Simon says: President Ikeda says do this, President Ikeda says do that, President Ikeda says do this, and President Ikeda says do that, and you do it. But if your heart and mind says do this or do that, don't do it.
SGI Member: You mean if President Ikeda says, Nichiren is the True Buddha, and President Ikeda says, only recite the Hoben-pon and Jiga-ge sections of the Lotus Sutra, and President Ikeda says, only believe in the Nichikan Gohonzon, and President Ikeda says, touch your nose, and President Ikeda says touch your left shoulder, you do it. But if you feel like chanting the entire 16th Chapter, or if you feel compelled to revere Shakyamuni as the Eternal Original Buddha, or if your tushy itches, you don't scratch it because President Ikeda didn't say to touch your tushy. 
SGI leader: That is overcoming your negativity and your ego. That is human revolution!
SGI member: Now I understand. Sennichi threw that old priest, Ogassawara, into the pond because President Toda said to throw him in. I bet President Ikeda would tell us to throw Rev. Nagasaki of the New York temple into the Hudson river.
SGI leader: That would be too good for him. But first you have to clean President Ikeda's toilet in the President's room.
SGI member: But no one has been up to that room in 12 years.
SGI leader: President Ikeda says to keep his toilet clean because you never know when he might show up.
SGI member: Hai!
SGI leader: Heil

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