"Its a pretty mean organization"

"Speaking about her experiences, another former member (who prefers to remain anonymous) remains a bit bitter. Recruited by a friend at work, this spiritual searcher was intrigued by the "perfect" combination of Japanese culture and spirituality she initially saw in the organization. Her friend catered to her at first, giving her rides to meetings and spending a great deal of time with her. However, she soon became disillusioned. "What I kept seeing, especially in my friend who introduced me, was an incredible avariciousness: she had no morals; she had no qualms about anything; she just very much wanted what she wanted; She would literally chant for what she wanted for hours. While I think that can be real helpful, I saw her just taking that to a real extreme. But she would also do everything she possibly could to get what she wanted. If that meant talking about someone behind their back, she would do it, and say 'I chanted and you didn't; that's why I've got it and you don't.' Right after I got the Gohonzon, she really dropped out; there was no more interest in me; up until that point, she really catered to me: rides to meetings, rides to events. And you know I realize that in the organization it's really important to shakubuku. They have these big campaigns and big drives. Anything that's a discipline can be very helpful--when it becomes a compulsion, that can be dangerous. I know people that get very compulsive. All the analysis was just too much. If you didn't get what you wanted, they'd say that you didn't chant correctly. I mean I look at my friend, and she looks worn out; I mean literally worn out. This was supposed to be very free of guilt. Their answer for everything is chant. It's like a drug; it really is. Spiritual consciousness was equated with happiness; your happiness. I never could buy the magazine because it was all full of diluted tales. They all seemed to be written up by a bunch of bright souls down in Santa Monica; I didn't ever trust them. It's too bad; I was very disillusioned. They're always pressuring you to buy books and magazine subscriptions and this and that; their magazine is very nationalistic and that was explained to me as a consequence of anti-Japanese feeling in this country. In order to gain American acceptance, they have to take on a very American image. I wanted to have my Gohonzon de-enshrined. There's so little interest in that. You can't get anyone to come over and take it down. You've got it; you paid for it. It's yours for life...when there was so much surrounding how it went up. Now this sacred thing is not quite so sacred anymore. Looking back, I realize that it's a pretty mean organization."

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