Codependency and the Soka Gakkai

Denial patterns:

• I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling. — So busy are you with SGI activities and ingratiating yourself to higher level leaders.
• I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel. — about the SGI mentor disciple teachings, for example.
• I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others. — Even chanting for a female marijuana seed is an activity for SGI and Kosen Rufu.

Low self-esteem patterns:

• I have difficulty making decisions. — Seeking guidance from every SGI Tom, Dick, and Harry.
• I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.” — You need to rededicate yourself to SGI, more meetings, more activities.
• I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. — Only the mentor can receive such praise and gifts.
• I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. — I live for the Soka Gakkai and protecting the mentor.
• I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own. — What if my leader should tell me I have weak faith or I am shunned for my beliefs?

Compliance patterns:

• I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger. — Never voicing one’s doubts, uncertainties, or criticisms of the SGI
• I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same. — What if the others reject me for the way I feel [or don't feel] about the mentor, for example?
• I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. — Loyalty prized above actual accomplishment in the Soka Gakkai.
• I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own. –See above.
• I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want. — More meetings, May Contribution and August shakubuku campaigns, for example

Control patterns:

• I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves. — Giving guidance whether or not guidance is sought.
• I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel. — “President Ikeda says we should…”
• I become resentful when others will not let me help them. — “You lack faith”.
• I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked. — see above