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Wednesday, November 7, 2018

SGI and codependency

Denial patterns:
  1. I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling. — So busy are you with SGI activities and ingratiating yourself to higher level leaders. 
  2. minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel. — about the SGI mentor disciple teachings, for example. 
  3. I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others. — Even chanting for a female marijuana seed is an activity for SGI and Kosen Rufu. 
Low self-esteem patterns: 
  1. I have difficulty making decisions. — Seeking guidance from every SGI Tom, Dick, and Harry. 
  2. I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never “good enough.” — You need to rededicate yourself to SGI, more meetings, more activities. 
  3. I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. — Only the mentor can receive such praise and gifts. 
  4. I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. — I live for the Soka Gakkai and protecting the mentor. 
  5. I value others’ approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own. — What if my leader should tell me I have weak faith or I am shunned for my beliefs? 
Compliance patterns: 
  1. I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others’ anger. — Never voicing one’s doubts, uncertainties, or criticisms of the SGI 
  2. I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same. — What if the others reject me for the way I feel [or don't feel] about the mentor, for example? 
  3. I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. — Loyalty prized above actual accomplishment in the Soka Gakkai. 
  4. I value others’ opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own. –See above. 
  5. I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want. — More meetings, May Contribution and August shakubuku campaigns, for example 
Control patterns: 
  1. I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves. — Giving guidance whether or not guidance is sought. 
  2. I attempt to convince others of what they “should” think and how they “truly” feel. — “President Ikeda says we should…” 
  3. I become resentful when others will not let me help them. — “You lack faith”. 
  4. I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked. — see above

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