Dear mom and dad,
As you all know, it has been 35 years since I stopped practicing. I know that you all have been hoping and even chanting for me to return to the practice. I know that you blame my grandparents and my aunts and uncles for the cessation of my practice. I know that you think that this practice is the key to happiness. I know you thought that your practice would impart so much benefit into my life. However this is/was not the case.
When I lived and practiced with you all, life was not that great. There were so many days that I would come home from school and be alone because you all were running to meetings. Sometimes one of the lady NSA members would babysit me, but other times I was alone. For so many dinners, I would eat dry Corn Flakes because the milk had spoiled. I used to hate the weekends because that meant that I had to go meetings with you all no matter how far they were. When most people regale their childhood weekends, they talk about sleepovers with their friends, cousins, or even grandparents. My childhood weekend tales involve riding six hours in a station wagon to someone's house where I had sit on a tatami mat and chant over five hours with you all. And if I nodded during the meeting, I was chided by one of the Japanese seniors in faith for giving in to one of the troops of sansho shima. My childhood with you all was a colossal nightmare. Do you know how many times I wanted to share with you some good news only for you to be more preoccupied with recruiting other people or kosen rufu? And all of the times that I got in trouble in school, I was trying to get your attention. For once, I wanted to come before this practice, but it was no use.
So finally, one time I had gotten in trouble, and my grandparents came. You said that they acted under the influence of sansho shima and dissuaded me from the practice. I say that they're intervention was the best thing that ever happened to me. With my grandparents, I had someone home when I got home. And when they were gone briefly, like no more than 30 minutes, one of my aunts or uncles was home. When I lived with my grandparents, I ate a warm dinner with someone I knew as opposed to a total stranger. When I lived with my grandparents, I had a weekends of actual fun. And by fun, I mean that I didn't have to tell myself, "You're making a good cause." My grades significantly improved while I was with my grandparents. My grades improved to where i graduated from high school an honor graduate. The improve was not because of your chanting. Rather it was because I knew and felt that someone actually cared about me.
Now thanks to your importunate behavior, I decided to look into Daisaku Ikeda. I stumbled on this quote: "If a mother sincerely carries out her activities, her children will, without fail, emulate her spirit. On the other hand, if she is reluctant to participate in activities, her children will also have disdain for the practice. It is ultimately the mother who determines everything."
Ikeda was wrong. It was your insane dedication to activities that caused me to hate the activities. It was the times that you couldn't make time for me, but you could find a hooker to recruit that caused me to hate activities.
After reading this letter, I want it to be very clear. I have no need or desire for a worthless practice. I have no need or desire for a corpulent master, or as you call Ikeda today, mentor. SGI has taken enough from my life, and I would consider it a great day if SGI crumbled and ended up like the Aggressive Christian Missions Training Corps.
Sincerely,No Fukudoshieturn to the practice. I know that you blame my grandparents and my aunts and uncles for the cessation of my practice. I know that you think that this practice is the key to happiness. I know you thought that your practice would impart so much benefit into my life. However this is/was not the case.
When I lived and practiced with you all, life was not that great. There were so many days that I would come home from school and be alone because you all were running to meetings. Sometimes one of the lady NSA members would babysit me, but other times I was alone. For so many dinners, I would eat dry Corn Flakes because the milk had spoiled. I used to hate the weekends because that meant that I had to go meetings with you all no matter how far they were. When most people regale their childhood weekends, they talk about sleepovers with their friends, cousins, or even grandparents. My childhood weekend tales involve riding six hours in a station wagon to someone's house where I had sit on a tatami mat and chant over five hours with you all. And if I nodded during the meeting, I was chided by one of the Japanese seniors in faith for giving in to one of the troops of sansho shima. My childhood with you all was a colossal nightmare. Do you know how many times I wanted to share with you some good news only for you to be more preoccupied with recruiting other people or kosen rufu? And all of the times that I got in trouble in school, I was trying to get your attention. For once, I wanted to come before this practice, but it was no use.
So finally, one time I had gotten in trouble, and my grandparents came. You said that they acted under the influence of sansho shima and dissuaded me from the practice. I say that they're intervention was the best thing that ever happened to me. With my grandparents, I had someone home when I got home. And when they were gone briefly, like no more than 30 minutes, one of my aunts or uncles was home. When I lived with my grandparents, I ate a warm dinner with someone I knew as opposed to a total stranger. When I lived with my grandparents, I had a weekends of actual fun. And by fun, I mean that I didn't have to tell myself, "You're making a good cause." My grades significantly improved while I was with my grandparents. My grades improved to where i graduated from high school an honor graduate. The improve was not because of your chanting. Rather it was because I knew and felt that someone actually cared about me.
Now thanks to your importunate behavior, I decided to look into Daisaku Ikeda. I stumbled on this quote: "If a mother sincerely carries out her activities, her children will, without fail, emulate her spirit. On the other hand, if she is reluctant to participate in activities, her children will also have disdain for the practice. It is ultimately the mother who determines everything."
Ikeda was wrong. It was your insane dedication to activities that caused me to hate the activities. It was the times that you couldn't make time for me, but you could find a hooker to recruit that caused me to hate activities.
After reading this letter, I want it to be very clear. I have no need or desire for a worthless practice. I have no need or desire for a corpulent master, or as you call Ikeda today, mentor. SGI has taken enough from my life, and I would consider it a great day if SGI crumbled and ended up like the Aggressive Christian Missions Training Corps.
Sincerely,
No comments:
Post a Comment