__________________________Quote, LisaJones.com____________________________________________________________________________December 5, 2004
Oblivious to the Irony
I don't want to talk about cults -- especially my former cult -- on this site or in e-mail. I keep getting letters, though, so I'll try to address the topic in general terms and hope this will suffice.
Cult members are usually nice people. They mean well. But any group that claims to have all the answers for your life should be rigorously scrutinized.
Your enlightenment, salvation, or worth does not depend on your involvement with a particular group or organization. No matter how "liberating" the teachings of a group may sound, if the group fosters emotional dependence on the group itself (telling you "we're the one true sangha," etc.) run and don't look back.
If a friend or co-worker says "Ever since I joined this group, my life has gotten much better," be cautious. Members of cults have learned to re-frame their lives in terms of the group and its teachings. All life-events (good or bad) are looked at as opportunities to deepen one's involvement with the group, and thereby become "more enlightened." When you hear testimonials from group members, pay attention to how often they praise the group and its leaders, and how they attribute their own happiness and success to involvement with the group.
When people say "I am the organization" a red flag should go up. Cult members are taught to merge their personal identity with the group identity. Any criticism of the group, then, becomes a personal attack.
If it feels like a member of a group is trying to "sell" you on the group, that's exactly what's happening. The price is your freedom of mind and it's too high to pay regardless of how many "benefits" you are promised.
Selling does not mean, however, that a cult member is deliberately trying to con you. Members of cults are not consciously aware of their emotional dependence and have learned to dismiss or ignore critical information about the group. Members usually have to keep selling the group to themselves and to other people as a way of reinforcing or justifying their emotional dependence on the group.
Be extremely cautious around groups that use "lovebombing" -- excessive displays of warmth, kindness and concern -- to get you to "overcome your mistrust" and ignore your qualms about the group. If a friend says "You can trust this group and this guru because you trust me," do your own investigation.
Does the group provide full financial disclosure? Are there dozens of negative news reports about the group? Does the group appear on cult watch lists? Are dissent and debate of policies and beliefs welcome?
When questioned about negative information, cult members will likely offer a defensive rationalization: "There may be some bad things about our group but we're trying to make it better. Don't be swayed by our critics who don't understand our noble mission. They are unfair to us because they are jealous of what we have."
In short: Beware of groups that appeal to emotion or "tolerance" to override your suspicions. "Trust us because we're nice and we mean well," is not a valid resolution to informed concerns about the group.
Cult members aren't stupid. In fact, studies show that they are often intelligent and more likely than other people to be open to new experiences and take personal risks, especially if they are in a period of transition such as starting college, losing a job or ending a marriage.
Cult groups exploit this openness and seeking spirit. Some groups misrepresent themselves -- claiming, for instance, that they are a humble, informal gathering of people who care about world peace when in fact they are a multibillion-dollar religio-political corporation. But the central deception propagated by all cults is the lie that members need the group.
Through "fellowship," "guidance," and "training," cults groom "deployable agents," people who have internalized the message of the cult so deeply that their self-interest and the cult's interests are one and the same. This is why it's so hard to leave a cult after you've been a member for years -- it's hard to sort out what's genuine religious faith, what's cult-serving programming and what's "you."
Cults make it all very simple, black and white. Cults regard people who have left the group as traitors, betrayers, deluded ones or enemies. You're either with us or against us. Cults do not recognize the possibility that a reasonable, healthy person might choose to dissociate from the group based on honest disagreement with the group. On the contrary, anyone who has left the group is regarded with pity, contempt or anger.
It's not wacky rituals or peculiar doctrines that define a cult. Rather it's the whole bundle of messages and peer pressure tactics that foster dependency: Without us and our special interpretation of truth you cannot achieve your potential. Our critics don't know what they're talking about. If you want to be happy, you must surrender yourself to your special mission which you can understand only within the context of the group. When you and the group/leader become one, all your doubts will be resolved and you will be able to accomplish absolutely anything.
I'm fascinated by the processes of cult indoctrination because it happened to me without my being aware of it at the time. I was completely suckered. In retrospect, I can look back and see how, step by step, little by little, my thinking was molded.
I was oblivious to the irony. For example, members of my former cult like to trot out quotes attributed to the Head Guru saying stuff like, "Members of this group are free-thinking individuals who are self-reliant and compassionately wonderful." Then members say, "See! The Head Guru says this about us! This is who we truly are. We must strive to meet his expectations."
Quoting the Head Guru to prove anything or modeling your life to conform to the perceived expectations of said guru is itself screamingly cultish.
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