Ambassador to the Taliban Beheaded

Associated Press

06/26/2008

The president of the United states Barack Obama appointed SGI Clown Hidden special envoy and Taliban ambassador yesterday on 06/25/2008. Clown Hidden was immediately placed on a jet and whisked away to the tribal region of Pakistan. In a top secret meeting with Mullah Omar, Clown Hidden relayed Mr. Obama's warning that in no uncertain terms Omar must lay down his arms and engage in interfaith dialogue or suffer the consequences. Mullah Omar immediately grabbed Clown Hidden by his orange bozo-like hair and sawed through his neck with a dull knife. President Obama received the severed head today. President Obama had the following to say about the incident, "Clown Hidden was a true american hero. My heart goes out to his family. In memorium I bestow upon Clown Hidden the Congressional Medal of Freedom. We will not let this abominable act of aggression go unpunished. There will be no more aid to the Taliban until they apologize."

Clown Hidden's wife had this to say: "Clown Hidden was a good man and was really committed to interfaith dialogue. Ever since he was a little boy, laughing at the other clowns and playing pranks on them, he always saw a way around conflict, even dealing with the evil ringmaster. I remember one time the evil ringmaster was demanding the perfect coordination and timing of the three rings and Clown Hidden pulled down the ringmaster's pants and gave him a wedgie. The tigers got loose and there was bedlam but Clown Hidden continued to laugh at the ringmaster and even the little girl who was mauled by the tiger. He displayed such courage. I'm sure he was laughing when Mullah Omar was sawing through his neck."