I was introduced to Nichiren Buddhism in 2000 by my former mother-in-law. Now, my ex-husband, prior to introducing me to his parents, referred to his mother as a "Crazy, neurotic woman who practices Buddhism". I was sure that I wouldn't like her, and vice versa.
When we met, she seemed to be such a sweet, loving, kind, and compassionate woman. She didn't mention Buddhism to me until a year after I'd met her...it was the day after I married her son. At that point in my life, I'd given up the Catholic church and all the guilt that came with it 5 years prior. I considered myself agnostic, for the most part. After talking to Susanna (my then MIL), I felt like Buddhism was for me. .I read the books she gave me...they were all about Nichiren Buddhism and, at that point, I hadn't read anything by Ikeda yet. Before long, I was chanting at least 3x/week with Susanna and, little by little, she'd introduced me to other members, meetings, the community center, etc. This was in Northern Virginia, and Susanna was a district leader at that time. She has since advanced up the ranks, though I don't know her current title. I enjoyed my activities with SGI.
Life went on and things changed, as they tend to do on a regular basis. My marriage fell apart because my husband was diagnosed with schizophrenia and refused to take the medication his doctor prescribed. I couldn't take care of his 2 children from a previous marriage, him, and myself. The pressure was too much and I was personally falling apart and felt that I was dragging his kids down with me. That wasn't fair to any of the parties involved and, after much discussion with my mother and sister, I decided to leave.
Susanna took her grandchildren in, as her son was essentially useless at that point. She helped me packed my things, all the while smiling and cooing gentle things at me. When I got into my car to drive to my hometown in another state, she got within an inch of my face and said, "I know you probably don't care at this point, but my son's mental health issues were brought on because of your relationship karma. You could have asked me or another leader for guidance, but instead you are choosing to run away from your problems. You could have chanted more daimoku. I know you didn't chant as much as you should have. When you're lamenting about your broken marriage to your friends back home, take the high road and tell them your role in it."
I was flabbergasted. I was pissed. I didn't take the "high road". I told her to go fuck herself and pealed out of the driveway. I didn't chant again for a long, long time. Two years later I met another SGI Buddhist at work. She asked me if I'd like to join her for a meeting and I told her about my prior SGI experience and how the tables turned on me so quickly. She told me that it was Susanna's grief over her son's 2nd failed marriage that prompted her to lash out at me. "Devlish functions". She assured me that HER SGI group was NOTHING like that. And they weren't. I was practicing again without much pressure to buy the World Tribune (our leader made copies of the articles we discussed at meetings...I'm sure that's probably a no no), without pressure to shakubuku, etc. It was peaceful, I enjoyed my practice, I enjoyed my fellow SGI members.
Then I moved again, to another part of Pennsylvania. I figured I'd get in touch with the SGI members in that area since I'd had such good fortune with the Pittsburgh area group. This is when things started getting dicey. I was coerced into buying World Trib & Living Buddhism. At meetings I was badgered so strongly into sharing experiences that I began just making shit up, all the while wondering what the hell was wrong with me for not just saying, "Ok, screw this, I'm outta here." I'm not exactly a shy, soft-spoken woman. :P
Fast forward to now. I moved to Texas a few months ago. I didn't even contact anyone with SGI ties because the PA people freaked me out and reminded me of my former MIL, so I figured I'd just cut my losses and move the hell on. Lo and behold, I start receiving e-mails and phone calls from the area leader where I live now. I hadn't returned any of those communications and one morning, as I was walking my dog, my phone rang. I let it go to voicemail and t was my former district leader from PA...she said that she'd done her part to put me in touch with the right people in my new location and that she'd been told that I have avoided all of their attempts to contact me. She said, "Since you are no longer practicing, it is imperative that you return your Gohonzon to your local community center. That is property of SGI, on loan to you, and you may not keep it if you're going to slouch in your practice in this way."
I didn't call her back. I've been chanting, still. Gongyo and daimoku have always felt good to me. I don't chant till my lips are numb or anything, but I find that gongyo and chanting just make me feel good. Relaxed. It's like meditation.
I keep getting calls from the SGI Texas people and I keep avoiding them. Hopefully they'll stop soon. I enjoy this practice and it's a real shame that there are more nutjobs than normal people involved. *sigh*
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