"Hi David,
I do need to apologize for the typos in my previous comment. I was very tired and my proofreading skills were definitely suffering at nearly 3 am.
I don’t wish to engage in an NSA/SGI bashing episode, but upon further reflection of the reasons why I stopped practicing, I realized that it wasn’t just mere disillusionment. It was also frustration and the sobering realization that I was simply going through the motions of chanting, doing Gongyo, attending meetings, etc. My sense of excitement, enthusiasm, passion and maybe even my faith, had been lost somewhere along the way, and I just couldn’t recapture it.
I also couldn’t justify the pressures of constantly donating and doing Shakabuku, paying for other people’s World Tribune subscriptions, purchasing the latest books that would never get read, and spending my precious yearly vacation days doing activities such as preparing for some senior leader’s visit from Japan or visiting FNCC – in short, I wanted my life back.
I found that it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to hide the envy, jealousy and anger that I felt as some District, Chapter or Headquarters leader was lecturing me and other YWD on the vital importance of doing activities and Shakabuku, while this leader’s “fortune baby” daughter or son was going out on dates, attending college, taking trips that were totally unrelated to NSA/SGI activities, and simply having fun!
And I was especially tired of constantly hearing how “Gohonzon would give us this or give us that” relegating a beautiful object of worship down to some temperamental magical scroll.
I blame myself for not having the courage or the confidence to have said, “No!”. But like countless other members, I thought I was doing something noble and noteworthy and that at some point my benefits would rain down upon me in reward for my sincere devotion and dedication..."
"like countless other members, I thought I was doing something noble and noteworthy and that at some point my benefits would rain down upon me in reward for my sincere devotion and dedication..."
ReplyDeleteI felt the same way - that's why I stayed in for a full 20 years. See, when I started practicing in 1987, I was told that, if I practiced for 20 years, I would see unmistakable "actual proof" of the fortune I had accumulated. One MD District leader told me it would be like the Universe pouring out so many benefits I'd feel like, "Um...Universe? Can you hold back the benefits for 5 seconds so I can catch my breath??
Nothing but lies. Exploiting my need, greed, idealism, trust, and gullibility. I joined *years* before the Internet; why shouldn't I believe what these nice people were telling me? But a deluded person will be just as convinced that what they're telling you is right and true as someone who's informing you of what's right and true - you are able to be just as convinced of a false belief as a correct one, which is why it's so important to test the claims associated with that belief. In my 20 years of SGI membership, I didn't see anyone transform their circumstances dramatically - instead, their peers outdistanced them, left them behind, because their peers were putting *all* their time and energy into pursuing their goals, instead of sitting on their fat asses mumbling nonsense to a cheap, mass-produced scroll. People "on the outside" were doing so much better than those within SGI! And, since leaving, I'm doing so much better as well. I am happier, I have genuine friends, the kids are doing well, we've moved to a farm in the country.
Wake up! Chanting won't enable you to overcome delusion and attachment; chanting *strengthens* those! The Four Noble Truths *ARE* truths; they are a correct evaluation, and then the Noble Eightfold Path provides usable guidance on how to put that knowledge into practice. SGI is the opposite - earthly desires are NOT enlightenment. They are *the OPPOSITE* of enlightenment! But this is the SGI, in which a crass, corrupt nouveau-rich self-indulgent swine like Ikeda can be regarded as a "True Buddha"...