Satire based on receiving a swath of mentor's necktie

"It is hard not to write satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust SGI, so steeled, that he can restrain himself..."-- Modified from Juvenal

Daisaku Ikeda's Relics: "Presented With a Piece of Mentor's Necktie"...

"After the dinner, Mineo-san presented every men attended the dinner with a piece of Sensei’s necktie. This necktie, which either Sensei used before, or being with Sensei before, had a deep significant to me. The moment I received it from Mineo-san hand, I pledge in my heart, I will give my life for the sake the Law, Gakkai and Sensei.

When I returned, I chanted an hour daimoku to thank Sensei for his great care and impartial love for a disciple like me." -- [onenessofmentoranddisciple.blogspot.com]

Mentor Stopped Smoking [a satire based on the above real life experience of an SGI Singapore member]

"How happy I was when I found out mentor had stopped smoking. When I went to Japan for the International Headquarters Meeting of Brainwashed Youth, I got the chance to congratulate Mentor. Mentor told me he stopped smoking completely but now he dips [chews tobacco]. Mentor said I was a true disciple and that he had a little present for me. He gave me a gift wrapped box and told me to open it when I got to my room. It was something to remember him for all eternity. After the meeting I rushed back to the room to open Mentor's present. I was so excited. Very carefully I undid the wrapping so I could preserve the wrapping for posterity. The small velvet jewelry box inside was as blue as a late afternoon sky. I opened it in anticipation and there it was, a well chewed wad of Mentor's chaw. How joyful I was, the pungent aroma of the chaw filling the room. When I returned home I carefully placed the well masticated chaw in a transparent glass water cup and presented it to the Gohonzon as a token of my deepest gratitude for Mentor."

Other Relics of the Mentor 

Pieces of the Mentors necktie are a favorite with the members but the most highly prized relics are those containing the mentors body fluids, secretions, and excretions. It is a well known fact that Mentor's high salaried senior leaders like David Kasahara, Guy McCloskey, Ian McIlraith, and Danny Nagashima, often receive New Years gifts of Mentor's unwashed underwear. I have heard that Gerry Hall and Bill Aiken are jealous, having only received pieces of Mentor's unwashed socks. Guy McCloskey once gave guidance to the leaders that, his mid six figure salary for being one of SGI's pit bull lawyers, paled in significance to receiving President Ikeda's unwashed underwear. David Kasahara burns small pieces of Mentor's excrement laden underwear as an offering to the Nichikan Gohonzon, calling it, "the finest Sandalwood in Jambudvipa". The disciples and believers of Nichiren just call it "dung".