Poem Twas the Night Before Christmas by Craig Bratcher

T'was the night before Christmas

and all through the Kaikan
all the members were praying
for the destruction of "Nikken"

The HQ chief
was counting the bread
while visions of kotekitai
danced in his head

The SGI leaders
were airbrushing pics
while Keith Robinson obediently
sucked on their....

The presses were rolling
spewing their crap
with the SGI robots
snared in their trap

They turned on the big screen
there was so much chatter
the gossip was spewing
It was such a big matter!

The band started playing
In honor of sensei
who made his appearance
to save the whole day

He was dressed in a suit
from his fat lips to his shoes
his stomach protruded
like an overstuffed moose

He said he was forced
to say he was sorry
but now he is strong
and here's the real story

I had to hide the truth
until I had proof
of the evil priesthood
and their 700 year spoof

The 26th (priest) raised chickens
and had a statue made there
he lied like the dickens
he lost all his hair

The 31st sold the temple
to some hari Krishnas
but SGI came
to lend come charisma

Socialism is good
democracy can't be
in a group such as ours
let's just wait and see

But it's clear to me now
that we are all monks
for the coming new age
we yearn for so much

But you cannot be trusted
to elect all our judges
it would make our group busted
So just follow my hunches

We no longer need
the meaningless forms
that the evil danto say
are strictly the norm

We can start our own faith
and all have our say
with no stuffy priests
to get in our way.

Then he proclaimed an honor
on those who they follow
the charismatic fat man
in whom they so wallow

With a wink at the girls
as he turned on his way
The members so sweetly
sung forever Sensei!