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Wednesday, June 1, 2022

Jokes anyone?

  1). What is the official dessert of SGI?

Pineapple upside down cake.

2). What was the root cause of the SGI senior leader's prostate problem?
The repeated massaging it got in the debate.

3).This Seikyo Times article author is definitely back from Uranus:
"Clearly, in our choice of masters, the contrasts between president Ikeda and Nikken are as profound as the differences between night and day. If Nichiren Daishonin appeared on Earth tomorrow, would he practice with the Nikken sect or the SGI. [Implying that Nichiren would practice under whom, Ikeda or Nikken?] 
4). What's harder to find than one atom of tritium in a barrel of deuterium?
Any mention of the Lotus Sutra, Nichiren, or Shakyamuni Buddha at an SGI meeting.
5). SGI sneeze blessing...."AhhhhChoooooo"...."Daisaku"

6). "Probably no one could ever come close to repeating what I have accomplished." (Daisaku Ikeda)
(World Tribune, September 26, 1997, p. 11).
No Doubt!!!

7). A Buddhist rant:
Furthermore, you have proven to be a COWARD and a LIAR by dodging the debate challenges from another poster, and LYING about it. Last, but not least, you are a silly PARROT indeed.
A True response on (Alternate Religion Buddhism of Nichiren:
8). Joe Stevens writes: "Sensei's life is the Mystic Law."
And...?
9). The new respectful form of the Nichiren Debate:
Reggie: Mr Cody would you like to come over for a spot of Tea?
Cody: Certainly goodfellow, may I bring along the wife and kids?
Reggie: You don't even have to ask, good buddy. Why don't you bring along Dave Cole and That fine fellow Larry Crimmons.
Cody: Great, I'll call them and see if they will join us.
Reggie: Excellent, fine sir. Would you mind asking Dave to bring over Volume 6 of the Major Works. I lent it to William Kallander, ahh, fine lad that he is.
Cody.You couldn't have lent your Gosho book to a more trustworthy young man. Maybe I'll call Stephen Schwichow. He is conneuseur of tea and he always speaks so highly of you.
Reggie: That would be fantastic good sir. Stephen has alot of insight and a quick wit to boot.
Cody: We'll be over in an hour Reg.
Reggie: Do hurry.
How many zen buddhist monks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2..... one to screw it in, and one not to.
Q: Why don't Buddhists vacuum in the corners?
A: Because they have no attachments.
Q: What did a Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
Q: What is the name of the best Zen teacher?
A: M.T. Ness
Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.
Q: Why are there so few Buddhist rhythm and blues bands?
A: Because Buddhists don't have any soul.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Remember, half the people you know are below average.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
The early bird may get the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Eagles may soar but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

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