"Once I got free of SGI/NSA I realized that the hell of incessant sufferings was actually inside SGI, not outside of it.
- Eternal meetings, legs aching while you chant, and the words of leaders ringing in your ears that they are aching because of your weak faith. Only if you chant longer and longer will that turn around.
- Dealing with WD members whose only goal in life is to play "kitchen politics" with other members, and trying to give guidance to them despite the knowledge that you've been "tuned out" because they are great chums with Mister Kobayashi or Mrs Nakamura. Geesh!
- Reading WT, Seikyo Times and the "mandatory" lecture on the sutra and wondering what exactly the goal was in reading and rereading the same tired out rhetoric.
- Attending 2 or 3 meetings a week to "encourage" members (translation, press them for more participation and for sure more zaimu).
- Singing Forever Sensei for the umpty millionth time and wondering if any of those "smiling people" truly were.
- Knowing the "real" truth about some leaders and listening to them acting all pious. Watching those people over the years and seeing no real changes in their lives besides their increase in age.
- Making the SGI propaganda match up with the real world - "evil priests?" how about "evil senior leaders"? The priests made no bones about their loyalties, couldn't say the same about the senior the leaders. Imagine my shock when I heard Mr. Williams was out. Palace intrigues and wheels within wheels. I wonder if it was like that living in the Kremlin.
It is like getting caught in a spider web. Each thing you do just gets you snagged deeper and deeper into the game. Things that seemed pretty straightforward and honest suddenly become shady and it is no longer possible to just come out and say something directly without treading on someone higher up's toes." -- Wakatta
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