In the end, embarrased and depressed.

"I am new to this forum. I have pracaticed with the SGI for 35 years. I stopped chanting a month ago. I have spent the past two weeks reading every post here. It has proved to confirm my growing suspicions and concerns that my involvement with this group needs to end. I look forward to sharing my saga of cult behavior and organizational abuse that I both witnessed and directly experienced. I will be returning my Gohonzon to the SGI and insisting that my name and my children's names are removed from their membership roles. I am embarrassed that I have been associated with this for so long and suspended my critical thinking to ignore what I saw as false, hypocritical, arrogant and aggressive behavior on the part of leaders who profess to be spiritual and grounded in Buddhist principles. Although I always felt like a "square peg in a round hole" and that I was a misfit, I turned myself into a pretzel at times to accomodate the demands on my time and energy. I feel very depressed that I have wasted so much of my valuable life on this and that I introduced so many people to this, especially family members who are still practicing. I have not disclosed my decision to anyone yet, except anonymously here." -- Former SGI member