Be on guard, little ones.
The charms of Reggie the Bear can be hard to resist.
He's what some call a charismatic narcissist.
He's soft and cuddly with the gift of gab.
"Happy are they who pick up my tab."
So says Reggie.
He's here to save us all.
On a mission. For your sake. So be grateful.
He's a bear
and you're a sheep.
He's awake
and you're asleep.
He's not a bad bear,
but he just doesn't care
in the slightest
about your welfare.
Remember that.
He'll coax you out on a limb
to serve his every whim.
He's paranoid.
He has his reasons.
It's all about him.
Call him a cab. Be rid of him quick.
Do not fall for his holy-rolling shtick.
Heed the warning that Little Wanda ignored:
Don't trust a bear who claims to speak for the Lord Shakyamuni Buddha.
Little Wanda wanted to serve a higher purpose.
So Reggie told her: "You are smart and sincere."
It was true.
It was what she wanted to hear.
She was more credulous than some --
easily flattered, easily won.
She had hopes and dreams
which were somewhat vague and undefined.
She wanted to use her life well.
She wanted to expand her mind.
She was searching for truth.
She was a soft target for Reggie's spell.
She wanted so much to believe
in something
positive.
"Make your dreams come true. Save the world. Fulfill your potential. All you must do is believe in me. Do not doubt. And never leave me."
So says Reggie.
Reggie was cuddly and cute, not a threat or a worry.
Danger could not lurk in something so furry.
So Wanda agreed to the deal
and cooked Reggie a meal
of tasty morsels and fine wine.
But to Little Wanda's dismay
Reggie invited ten friends to dine.
"Thank you, Reggie," they said. "You're the best."
They ate and belched like trumpets,
then went out to play
while Little Wanda cleaned up the mess.
Little Wanda chanted the secret words Reggie taught her.
She washed his laundry.
She read his books.
She tried to feel as blissful and blessed as Reggie told her she should feel.
But she was lonely.
One by one, Little Wanda's friends drifted away.
They didn't like how Reggie held sway.
"Demagogue," they called him.
"Misunderstood," Little Wanda said in his defense.
Although she, too, was losing confidence.
Little Wanda tried not to doubt
as she took more money out
to pay Reggie his fee.
"A gift of gratitude for me. Because my wisdom is not free."
So says Reggie.
Little Wanda wondered where she had gone wrong.
She agonized and prayed and stewed.
Reggie felt entitled to her money and her food.
Would it harm her spiritual development to tell him he was rude?
She had made a deal to believe and never leave.
She didn't want to break her vow.
Besides, what if she were wrong somehow?
Then one day she snapped out of her mood.
Little Wanda came right out and kablooed:
"If the truth is within me, as you say, why must I pay?"
Reggie looked as if he would cry.
"You're turning against me. Why?"
"I'm not your foe, I just want to know. The truth is within me. That's what you taught. Is it true, or is it not?"
"I am truth! You need me." Reggie stomped and swatted the air. "Believe me. Never leave me. So says Reggie! So says Reggie!"
Little Wanda saw something new:
Reggie was not the arbiter of what is true.
He had claimed a special connection to the divine.
She had swallowed it hook, sinker and line.
Reggie was a hopping mad phony.
A mendacious charlatan, if you will, thought Little Wanda.
Clearly no good.
Then she suddenly understood.
"You have kept our bargain!" Little Wanda cried.
"You have made me wise. You have opened my eyes."
"I did?" said Reggie, surprised.
"In spite of yourself, you have taught me what I need to know. Our deal is complete. Now you must go."
Once they get wise, it's really no fun.
So Reggie left to find a new seeker of the way.
And Little Wanda learned a lesson that day:
Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on anyone.
Reggie the Bear continues to roam,
Preaching his vision,
Going from home to home.
Be on guard, little ones.
Always beware
of the bear
with the lovebombing banter
and the hypnotic stare.
Rogow. The Bear? Rhetorical question.
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