"Hallo Jan! your problem really touched a nerve with me. I have heard of this stage of stagnation, or something I've heard members call a 'plateau' stage, where you feel that you've reached a point where you're mot moving forward – my district leader told me about it on the first week when I started to chant. She told me that it will happen, especially if you've had a rocket like start to the study and practise of Buddhism, which I had, over 1.5 years ago. I literally couldn't put the books down.
She also told me, that it will be a time for me to REALLY deepen my practice. Instead of going to the 'next stage', imagine digging deeper, and rediscovering the enthusiastic seeking spirit you had in the beginning by chanting sincerely to connect with NMRK, and Sensei's spirit.
I found that doing SGI activities, not just taking part but taking responsibilities, got me out of deadlock. I had some issues with bigger meetings, like you, and I felt a slight disconnection from the organisation. I realised, that I was afraid to take on more responsibilities, after my knowledge had increased. It felt like I was seeing errors, mistakes, discrepancies EVERYWHERE in the organisation. I realized that this was my first real obstacle, and after learning about the dangers of slander (of the self, the law, or other members), I decided to push my doubts to the back seat and do something about it. "Daimoku first" – then I volunteered at every possible activity with any role that was available, be it cleaning toilets or designing the event invitation. Taking action was enough for me to move forward, and from that activity, I made incredible new connections and revived my desire to study by supporting someone very new to the practice.
So I'd say, that finding gratitude for my 'plateau' stage is the proof that I've moved forward from it, as SO MUCH came out of it. I'd say embrace all the feelings you are having, to realise the area in your practise which can be the key to revive the excitement you were feeling in the beginning. There is no 'final stage' in Buddhism, right? So there shouldn't be a sense of completing a stage before moving onto the next one and never going back to the beginning. I re-read one of the books recently, which I was given 5 years ago, and I realized I'd forgotten most of the amazing words that gave me hope those times!" -- Anne on SGI Unofficial
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