How to treat your brothers, sisters, and children

"Also, you should always look out for your younger brothers and make sure they have the money they need for the bath charge and proper sandals. You must keep in mind that if anything should happen toyou, your brothers will not forgive your enemies and may be obliged togive up their lives on your behalf. Even if they have their faults, if they are only minor ones, just pretend you do not notice them.

With regard to your women relatives, whatever faults they may have, do not make any attempt to correct them and certainly never quarrel with them. The Nirvana Sutra states, “Though the offense may be grave, punishment should never be inflicted on women.” The meaning of this passage is that whatever the error may be, women should not be chastised for their faults. This is the proper approach for a person of wisdom and a disciple of the Buddha. This passage in the sutra occurs when King Ajātashatru, having not only killed his father, is about to do the same to his mother, and is reprimanded by his ministers Jīvaka and Chandraprabha.

Remember that these brothers and sisters of yours are dear to your mother, and she will be concerned for them until the moment of her death. If you pardon their faults and treat them with kindness, you will be easing your mother’s mind and exercising proper filial regard. Reflect deeply on this! If you treat others with kindness, how much more so should you treat your own siblings. For if you should encounter trouble, they would be the ones to share your fate with you. And if you should die before they do, they would be the ones left behind to mourn you. With that thought in mind, you should be particularly kind to them.

The reason I am saying these things is none other than this. In the game called sugoroku, you cannot knock over a pair of stones with only one from a pair of dice. A bird cannot fly on a single wing. Even brave warriors such as Masakado and Sadatō could not accomplish their aims all by themselves. If you think of your siblings as your own children or followers and depend upon them, and if the Lotus Sutra spreads widely and you remain alive, they will become devoted allies of the sutra."