Former SGI member and "fortune baby's" experience and SGI leader and wannabe psychologist Lori's blame the victim response:

Former SGI member and so-called SGI "fortune baby": "I agree that we are responsible for our own actions, but this is one of  the many hypocrises of the SGI. People are lured into the SGI with visions of taking control of their lives and finding happiness. People don't sign up for the SGI's form of brainwashing, which dictates (at least it used to) that you attend several meetings each week and do weekend activities, all the while being told that you must get guidance at least once a month. And if you don't, the "leaders" visit your home, sometimes unannounced, to shove their destructive advice down your throat, then tell you that if you don't follow it, you have no faith. In essence, you are to give up all notions of common sense. I am happier now than when I was in the SGI spider web. I don't dwell on how my childhood was robbed, which would only make me sad. As I said in my original posting, I have accomplished much more , both personally and professionally, outside the SGI than within it. Which brings to mind one other atrocity--my territory YWD leader strongly discouraging me from attending Cal Poly SLO because my "destiny" was to be in Santa Rosa HQ (in other words, help find more victims in Santa Rosa from whom they could get more "donations"). I was more than qualified to attend Cal Poly, and would've gone, but my mother got wind of this YWD leader's words and put an end to my dream. Being that I had no job at that time, Lori, what was I supposed to do? Luckily I was still able to graduate from another college and go to law school, but I'll never forget that experience so that I don't put my future kids through the same crap. Rather than constantly lament what happened to me, I only posted my experience so that others might avoid being sucked into the very- controlling SGI. Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. ******************************************************************* SGI leader and wannabe psychologist Lori's blame the victim response:

I've been thinking about Ann's post and some of the replies. And about myself and the SGI. A lot, since reading here yesterday. I speak only from my own experience and don't claim to know everything, so I'm sure some of you have other experiences and will disagree. These are my own observatons. I am taking a risk and kind of baring my soul here -- I know, a stupid thing to do -- but I really feel the need to say this. If you flame me, I'll ignore you, but I wouldn't be opposed to discussion. Some people perhaps don't receive the love and attention and emotional support they need in life, particularly in early life when it is most important. It is those people who, without resolving certain issues, tend to spend their lives looking for somebody to fill the gap. They constantly seek happiness and fulfillment outside of themselves and of course they are never satisfied because you can't get that from outside, or from anybody else but yourself. But they don't know that, or they don't want to, because that's kind of a painful and hard thing to face. So they live off of others' energy and become dependent on others for their happiness. What happens when somebody like this encounters something like NSA? Their need to be dependent can be fulfilled, depending on the members and leaders they encounter. Because of the person's past, and because some NSA leaders were not prepared to deal with such a thing -- remember, they did not ASK for this person to become dependent on them -- an unhealthy relationship could occur. It's not the organization's "fault" anymore than it is the person's. It's karma, it's cause and effect. It's co-dependency. I think that's more how things used to be. (And even SGI members might disagree with me on this point, I don't know.) I don't doubt people's negative experiences that I read here, but I don't blame the organization for them, either. The organization was only made up of people, after all. The degree of responsibility we allowed others to have for our lives was solely up to US. What I see in the organization now is different. I tend to instinctively want to be one of those people who would like to depend on others for my happiness, on some level. (Then again, on another I am fiercely independent and rebellious.) I am just now in the process of learning that whatever emotional support I didn't receive when I was younger cannot be obtained from others now -- not just in the SGI, but anywhere. There is no substitute. That is a way, way hard thing to learn and accept. Sometimes I find myself wanting to depend on others more than I want to admit. And boy, isn't the SGI just a wonderful place full of wonderful people just waiting to be nice to me. But you know what? They don't let me be dependent on them. They do not let me. This is one of the major ways in which I have seen the SGI change. Or maybe it didn't; maybe I just did. My point is, the organization is not responsible for us. We are. Anyway, when you see me ranting and raving here about taking responsibility for yourselves, stop blaming others, and get on with your lives, this is why! What good does it do to blame? It is about karma, not fault. An allegory for example: imagine Child A and Child B are abused by a parent. Child A grows up hating his parent, blaming his parent for hurting him, for making him hate himself, for ruining his life. Child A lives all of his life like this -- blaming and angry and unhappy. Child B, on the other hand, recognizes that what his parent did was wrong, but instead of allowing it to ruin his life and make him unhappy, overcomes it all through therapy or chanting or whatever, and is able to learn, grow, do human revolution, and create a happy, productive, and meaningful life. This does not in any way excuse the actions of the parent; it simply frees Child B from suffering. I don't know, maybe I'm just talking to a stone wall. I just don't understand the blame game or living in the past.