Mentor's relics

Daisaku Ikeda's Relics: "Presented With a Piece of Mentor's Necktie"...

"After the dinner, Mineo-san presented every men attended the dinner
with a piece of Sensei’s necktie. This necktie, which either Sensei
used before, or being with Sensei before, had a deep significant to
me. The moment I received it from Mineo-san hand, I pledge in my
heart, I will give my life for the sake the Law, Gakkai and Sensei.

When I returned, I chanted an hour daimoku to thank Sensei for his
great care and impartial love for a disciple like me." --
[onenessofmentoranddisciple.blogspot.com]

Mentor Stopped Smoking [a satire based on the above real life
experience of an SGI Singapore member]

"How happy I was when I found out mentor had stopped smoking. When I
went to Japan for the International Headquarters Meeting of
Brainwashed Youth, I got the chance to congratulate Mentor. Mentor
told me he stopped smoking completely but now he dips [chews tobacco].
Mentor said I was a true disciple and that he had a little present for
me. He gave me a gift wrapped box and told me to open it when I got to
my room. It was something to remember him for all eternity. After the
meeting I rushed back to the room to open Mentor's present. I was so
excited. Very carefully I undid the wrapping so I could preserve the
wrapping for posterity. The small velvet jewelry box inside was as
blue as a late afternoon sky. I opened it in anticipation and there it
was, a well chewed wad of Mentor's chaw. How joyful I was, the
pungent aroma of the chaw filling the room. When I returned home I
carefully placed the well masticated chaw in a transparent glass water
cup and presented it to the Gohonzon as a token of my deepest
gratitude for Mentor."

Other Relics of the Mentor [more satire]

Pieces of the Mentors necktie are a favorite with the members but the
most highly prized relics are those containing the mentors body
fluids, secretions, and excretions. It is a well known fact that
Mentor's high salaried senior leaders like David Kasahara, Guy
McCloskey, Ian McIlraith, and Danny Nagashima, often receive New Years
gifts of Mentor's unwashed underwear. I have heard that Gerry Hall and
Bill Aiken are jealous, having only received pieces of Mentor's
unwashed socks. Guy McCloskey once gave guidance to the leaders that,
his mid six figure salary for being one of SGI's pit bull lawyers,
paled in significance to receiving President Ikeda's unwashed
underwear. David Kasahara burns small pieces of Mentor's excrement
laden underwear as an offering to the Nichikan Gohonzon, calling it,
"the finest Sandalwood in Jambudvipa". We of the Kempon Hokke call it
"dung."

"It is hard not to write Satire. For who is so tolerant of the unjust SGI, so
steeled, that he can restrain himself..."-- Modified from Juvenal